Pet Peeves: The Children

I adore them. They conspire to drive me crazy.

I love my children as much as you love yours, which is a lot. A ton. Infinity tons, really. But there are a few, just a few, things they do that drive me up the wall.

1. Making the same sound over and over. I don't know why it's fun to say a word or make a noise repeatedly and loudly. I always think to myself, "Don't say anything. They will stop soon" and they never do, then act totally surprised when I finally yell "CUT IT OUT!"

2. Calling me from the next room. They had not one single word to say to me the entire time I was sitting right next to them, but the moment I cross the invisible line to the next room, it's "Hey Mom!"


3. Continuing to call when I don't answer. Here's a perfect example: I'm in the laundry room upstairs, and Sean is in the kitchen downstairs. He wants to know if we have turkey. "Mom!" I hear him of course, but why would I scream a conversation from the laundry room to the kitchen? But instead of then coming to find me, he keeps calling, "Mom! Mom! Mom!" for the next 3 minutes, in which time he could have come up to the laundry room, gone back, and made himself a delicious turkey sandwich.

4. Putting the shoes next to the closet. The entrance to our house from the garage (where we usually come in) is exactly 12 inches away from the shoe closet. That means that you need to take exactly one step in the door, open the closet, and throw your shoes in. One swift, graceful motion is all it takes, yet the kids can never seem to remember the part where you have to open the door and instead throw the shoes onto the floor directly in front of the closet. No partial credit, people.

5. Watch those knees/elbows! This is more of a little kid thing but my 8-year-old still doesn't think twice about using my ribs as the resting spot for his elbow when he decides to get up from the couch. He also tends to just roll upside down and flail his legs at random intervals, usually in the middle of a board game or while watching television. This always ends up in a cat tearing out of the room and/or someone being kicked in the face.


6. Where's the turkey/lettuce/cookies/tortillas/raisins/etc. It's right there, on the second shelf, behind one other thing that you never bothered to move. I wish I could say it gets better but my husband is just as bad about this as the 8-year-old.

And of course I wouldn't trade them for the world, and even as I write this, I can't imagine them growing up and not needing me for the little things anymore. But being able to laugh at our children is really why we had them in the first place, right?

Back of the Tub: Kraft Ricotta Cheese

I had a bunch of ricotta cheese left over from the pizza earlier this week and decided to make the recipe on the back of the container. I wasn't sure whether I'd blog it because it is basic to the point of ridiculous, but my kids loved it and I had to laugh when Max declared it "the best thing I've ever eaten."

Here's the gist of the recipe: dump ricotta cheese in spaghetti sauce. The end.

Parmesan Bow-Tie Skillet
3 cups bow-tie pasta, cooked
1 jar (14 oz) spaghetti sauce
1/2 cup Simply Kraft Reduced Fat Ricotta Cheese
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese, divided
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese, divided

Combine pasta, spaghetti sauce, ricotta, 1/2 cup mozzarella and 2 Tbsp. Parmesan in large skillet. Cook on medium heat 10 minutes or until cooked through, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat. Sprinkle with remaining cheeses; cover. Let stand 5 minutes or until mozzarella is melted.


Janet's Notes: I used macaroni because I didn't think bow-ties would stand up to 10 minutes of cooking after they'd already been cooked. I cooked my pasta just to the raw side of al dente and then reduced the cooking time to about 5 minutes. Nothing needs to be cooked, just heated.

If I had spent two hours on this meal they'd have hated it.

The Wilder Life

Knowing how much I love the Little House series (I have read all nine books no less than 20 times throughout my life), my friend April told me about a book called The Wilder Life. It's written by Wendy McClure, another Laura Ingalls Wilder-obsessed fan who decides to visit all of the Laura Ingalls Wilder historical sites. Coincidentally, a couple of weeks ago I was lucky enough to win this book in a giveaway sponsored by Ponderings blog. Hooray and thank you!

I finished the book realizing that I'm not really much of a fan at all, compared to some people who have spent serious portions of their own lives researching Laura's life.

The first few chapters of the book were the funniest--my two favorite parts:

"There were a host of other things from the books that [as a child] I remember I wanted to do, too, such as:

• Make candy by pouring syrup in the snow.
• Make bullets by pouring lead.
• Sew a seam with tiny and perfectly straight stitches.
• Have a man's hands span my corseted waist, which at the time didn't seem creepy at all."

My family totally didn't get why this was so funny and never will. Their loss.

The other part that made me snort with laughter was when Wendy met other Little House fans but then discovered that they were actually fans of the TV show, not the books.

"More than once, a friend or acquaintance has gushed, 'you mean you're a Little House fan too?' only to discover that we have two very different sets of memories. One of us is thinking of the time Laura taught a calf to drink from a bucket. The other is thinking about the Very Special Episode when some kid named Albert got hooked on morphine."

The rest of the book was interesting and amusing, but really, you have to know a lot about this series to appreciate most of the references to specific people and incidents that the author mentions. Which I do, and which I did. If you're a fan, I recommend it. If not, skip it.

Best Chocolate Cake EVER

Elise's first fondant experience--not bad!

Max's cake for Papa and Grandma.

Shirtless wonder makes a cake!

Everyone has a few "specialty" recipes, and this is one of mine. It is frequently requested for potlucks and birthdays, and it really is the best chocolate cake I've ever had.

The best part is that it's all done in one bowl--dump everything in, stir it up, and pour it into the pans.


I prefer ganache to the cocoa frosting. Ganache sounds fancy but it's just cream and chocolate melted together. Make it a little thick to frost in between the layers, and thin it with a little more cream to pour over the top and sides of the cake. Super professional looking, and super decadent.

I think this kid's got a future in cake decorating!

This time I made it in small pot pie pans, so the kids (who have been watching way too much Cake Boss) could try using fondant.

If Oliver Twist gave you a cake, this is what he'd look like.

Whitestone Pizza (Plus Two)

Elise got a craving for Whitestone pizza the other day and once she mentioned it, I did too. This is our favorite kind of pizza: no tomato sauce, just olive oil, basil, and garlic brushed on the crust, then topped with mozzarella, parmesan, and dollops of ricotta. For the boys who are not really fans, I made regular sausage pizza and for kicks, made one more using leftover veggie burger crumbles and some chopped veggies. This last one was actually really tasty and I'll make it again.

Elise's Whitestone Pizza

Use your favorite pizza dough or crust. (We made our own dough in the bread machine, and par-baked it for about 5 minutes in a 425 degree oven.) Brush on olive oil, chopped basil, and a couple of cloves of minced garlic.

Top with cheese and bake for an additional 7-10 minutes, until the cheese is melted. But you probably know how to bake pizza already.

Trio of Za: Sausage/mushroom, Whitestone, and veggie-veggie (veggie burger crumbles with roasted vegetables)

Pet Peeves: The Grocery Store

Ah yes. The grocery store. If driving there doesn't get your pet peeve ire up, then an hour of shopping will.

Janet's Top 5 Grocery Store Pet Peeves

Parking the cart. Why oh why do people stop their carts in the middle of the aisle (usually at an angle so I can't get around them) and then either just stand there for no reason at all or float off to browse the shelves?


Samples. The sample table is the bane of my grocery store existence. Especially at Costco, where people abandon their double-wide carts anywhere and stand there, waiting for those chicken nuggets to be done so they can eat half of one for free. If they were selling them for 5 cents each, I guarantee nobody would buy one.

Cutting the line. This one is courtesy of my friend Macie, who hates nothing more than when she's standing in line, a new checkstand opens up, and the people behind her rush over to get in first. A little consideration, people!


Standing too close. And speaking of standing in line, do not breathe down my neck and do not bump the back of my legs with your cart. Standing closer does not mean you will be done faster. As my daughter says, "Respect the bubble!"

Be ready. When the checker has completed your order, that is not the time to start rummaging in your purse for your store card and then start thinking about how you'd like to pay. This sounds sexist, but when choosing a line I try to pick the one with the most men in it, because they rarely have a store card and they nearly always pay in cash.

I know I said 5 things, but I just remembered one more that I really hate:

Checker and clerk social hour. I don't mind if you guys chat a little, but when you completely ignore me to have an entire conversation about what you did last night, how tired you are, or worst of all, how disgruntled you are at your job, it's completely rude.

Have I covered them all? Do you have others to add?

Cigar Box Recipes: Fresh Cherry Cobbler

This latest installation of Momer's Cigar Box comes to us from Abbie, my great aunt and Momer's sister. Aunt Abbie lived to be 101 years old. She lived in a retirement home and she told my dad that every time someone would walk by her room, she could hear them whisper, "That lady in there is 100 years old!"

Aunt Abbie and Beowulf

When I think of old-timey recipes, I always think of everything being wholesome and made from scratch but it cracks me up how many of my grandma's recipes use things like Crisco and Bisquick. I don't use that stuff so I found a recipe for a pancake mix from scratch.

Abbie's Fruit Cobbler
1 can sour cherries or other fruit (I used 1 lb. pitted fresh cherries)
1 cup sugar or sugar to taste
1/4 c. flour
2 Tbsp. butter
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
Cook until thick, about 5 minutes. Pour into baking dish. Put topping on top with spoon.

Topping:
1 1/2 c. pancake mix
1/4 cup Crisco
2 Tbsp. sugar
1/2 cup milk
Mix together.

And here's where the recipe ends...so I looked up a cobbler recipe online and it says to bake at 350 for 40-45 minutes. Turns out 350 for 30 minutes is perfect.


Janet's Notes: I had to laugh when I took my first bite and the topping tasted like pancakes. Is that how Bisquick tastes? Next time I'll use a biscuit dough. Adjustments to the recipe--I added 1/4 cup of water and cut the sugar to 1/2 cup because I used fresh cherries and substituted 2 Tbsp. cornstarch for flour because isn't using flour a little weird?

p.s. I'm not the gadget type, but have you ever used a cherry pitter? They are awesome!