Pet Peeves

Pet peeves. Mine are infinitely numerous and varied. I've tried to pare my list down to the ones that are really important so you'll still like me after I'm done ranting.

Chefs who taste their own food at the end of their TV show. We know they’re going to say it’s delicious, and I can also do without the yummy noises that accompany the tasting.

Fortune cookies that analyze your character instead of telling your fortune.

Acceptable: You will win the lottery tomorrow.

Unacceptable: You have a winning personality.

I know what I’m like; just tell me what’s gonna happen to me.

Toy packaging. Twisty ties. Need I say more?

People who ask if you’ve seen a certain show/movie/commercial, and when you say yes, they proceed to describe it in detail. Yeah, I know. I saw it. Remember you just asked me that?

Checkout clerks who ask, “Did you find everything you were looking for?” and then if you say “Actually, I couldn’t find the okra,” they make a sympathetic clucking sound and that’s the end of it.

Vanity plates that describe the car. You paid how much to get a personalized plate that says BLUEBMW? I can see that.

It’s supposedly, not supposably.

I’ve got a million more, so maybe we can make this an ongoing series, and I'll include yours too. Am I the only one? I can't be the only one. Let's hear your pet peeves!

Golden Beet Salad

If you saw this table loaded with gorgeous produce, could you pass it by? I couldn't either and found myself buying a bunch of golden beets because I'd never tried them before. I got them home and didn't know what to do with them but what I knew was that I wanted to taste the beets, and not mask their flavor. Here's what I ended up with:

Golden Beet Salad
Wash one bunch of beets (about 5) and wrap in foil; roast at 400 degrees for 30 minutes or until soft; let cool. Peel off skin and chop the beets into 1/2 inch cubes. Chill. While the beets are chilling, make a simple vinaigrette out of 1/4 cup oil, 1/4 cup white wine vinegar, 1 tsp. fresh lemon juice, 3 Tbsp. chopped basil, 1/4 tsp. sugar, and salt and pepper to taste. Whisk until it's emulsified, then toss with chilled beets. I happened to have some leftovers from my foray into cheesemaking, but you can use 1/2 cup of crumbled feta.

The golden beets had a nice mild flavor. Serve your salad on a lettuce leaf for a simple, healthy, delicious lunch.

Half the Sky

When my friend April said she had a great book for me to read, I was excited. Would it be witty and wry? Tense and thrilling? Neither. It's the real-life story of crimes against women throughout the world, including honor killings and sexual trafficking.

Hmmmm....has Dave Barry written anything lately? But April was insistent so I gave it a go. It is truly a shock to realize that slavery still exists today, usually in the form of forced prostitution. The authors interviewed girls who were lured from their families with the promise of jobs in the big city, then forced into prostitution. In other parts of the world, women who speak out risk having acid thrown in their faces. I could go on and on (and the book does).

But the thing that makes me recommend this book to you, as April said, is the message of hope that pervades each chapter. The number one idea stressed over and over is that educating women will help stop violence against women. Educated women are more confident, and a society where women contribute is one where women wield some of the power. Women who are educated can help support their families, so their little sisters don't have to go looking for work. This brutality can be stopped, at the grassroots level, if we all pitch in, and the book outlines many specific ways we can help.

Rating: Life-changing. I so admire the way the authors were able to write about such tragedy and leave the reader with a sense of hope. I guess that's why they won the Pulitzer.

p.s. If you only support charities that Ashton believes in (doesn't that apply to most of us?), this is the one for you.

Homemade Cheese

I consider myself a decent cook, and I can look at most dishes and recreate them with a moderate amount of success. Two things, however, completely baffle me: yogurt pretzels and cheese. Where do I even begin? No idea.


For my birthday, my friend Jen gave me a super cool book called "The One-Block Feast" by the editors of Sunset magazine. It talks a lot about raising your own food and cooking from local, fresh ingredients. So inspiring, except for the section on raising your own hive of bees. I can only imagine what my homeowner's association would have to say about that.

But there was a section about making cheese, and it looked really easy. I grabbed the nearest lazy spring-break child I could find (this one happened to need a haircut) and got started.

The first thing you do is boil a gallon of pasteurized or raw milk over medium heat in a large stockpot, stirring occasionally so it doesn't scorch. I thought I'd go all the way and get raw milk but it cost about $8 per half gallon so I decided I liked pasteurized better anyway. Just don't use ultra-pasteurized. The book says it won't work and that it tastes weird.

Squeeze 1/2 cup of lemon juice from Grandpa's lemon tree (or the store, if you must).


When the milk starts to boil, turn off the heat and drizzle the juice into the milk, stirring with a rubber spatula until the milk separates into curds and whey. This is cooking magic; it happens in seconds and will make your kid say "whoa!". If your milk separates but the whey looks milky, not clear, put the pot back on the burner and cook at low temp until the whey is clear.

Strain the curds into a cheesecloth-lined strainer (or just a clean dishtowel like I did) and let drain.

Bring the dishtowel up into a ball, give the curds a good squeeze, and let rest, draining still, for about 45 minutes. It'll look like this when it's done.

Knead the cheese with your stand mixer and a dough hook, or by hand, for about 10 minutes. At some point it'll come together and not be loose curds.

I don't know what kind of cheese this is (the book says to add chives during the kneading but of course my little guy opted out of that ingredient). It has a mozzarella taste but a cream cheese-ish consistency. I drizzled a little honey that I had bought at the farmer's market over it, and served it with Wheat Thins. I also used some in pasta for last night's dinner. It's excellent both ways.

Quinoa Pizza

This girl loves animals. She has such a soft spot for them that when she buys a stuffed animal, she always chooses the one with the ripped seam, or the eye that is scratched, because that one won't be chosen by anyone else.

This girl told me when she was 7 years old, "Sorry Mom but I think I'm going to be a vegetarian when I start 3rd grade." She was serious. This girl is now 12 years old and except for a rare indulgence in a piece of bacon or the chicken fingers at Islands, she eats no meat.


It's a challenge to keep her protein intake high, and though she does eat a good amount of beans and cheese, I'm always on the lookout for other sources. Recently, I discovered quinoa and am amazed at its nutritional benefits--for us, the biggest benefit is that it's a complete protein.

Of course, the trick with kids is always getting them to eat the good stuff. This week, with Elise in mind, I've developed a quinoa pizza. I made the pizza dough in the bread machine (but easy enough to buy premade pizza dough and knead in 1/4 cup of raw quinoa).

Amy at the Grody Gourmet warned me when we chose this ingredient for this week's friendly competition that I had to "rinse the heck out of it." (She didn't actually say "heck" but this is a family blog.) The grain is apparently coated with a natural toxin that is bitter if not rinsed thoroughly. So while I rinsed the grain in a mesh strainer, I also rubbed it between my hands while the water was running. I did this for a good two minutes to wash away any trace of the bitterness (or poison, if you're concerned about that type of thing).

I don't know if this counts as an official recipe, because rather than showcase the ingredient, I kind of snuck it in, hoping it would fly under the radar and end up in my kids' bellies against their better judgment. It did. Suckers.


Quinoa Pizza
For the crust, make your own or use your favorite pre-made dough (Trader Joe's sells it for a buck or two) and add in 1/4 cup of uncooked (but well rinsed) quinoa. Knead it into pre-made dough and roll out as usual. I made my own dough in a bread machine and added the quinoa at the very beginning. Bake the crust for 5 minutes at 400 degrees.

For the pizza topping, brush the crust with some fresh garlic and olive oil. Sprinkle on some mozzarella and fresh grated Parmesan. Saute about 10 finely chopped brussels sprouts in 2 Tbsp. olive oil. Add 1/2 cup cooked quinoa, 1 cup ricotta cheese, and 1/4 cup more Parmesan. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Put blobs of this mixture here and there (mush them down a little) on your pizza, and bake the whole thing at 400 degrees for about 10 minutes, until it looks bubbly and pizza-ish. Yum! This was surprisingly delicious and I can't wait for lunch tomorrow so I can eat the leftovers.


If you like quinoa and want another idea for a simple, tasty recipe, here's one submitted by my new Etsy friend Natalia at Full Circle Images, who took the cool quinoa photo from my Monday post.

Natalia's Quinoa Salad
Cook quinoa like usual (just like rice, in boiling water until the water is all gone). Turn off the heat and add in green beans and dried cranberries. I always add extra cranberries for added sweetness. You can also substitute the green beans for okra and it's delicious! Then add in a dressing that is 1 part balsamic vinegar and 2 parts olive oil. Mix it all up, cool in the fridge, and serve chilled. It's super easy, super yummy, and very healthy.

Natalia's note: I'm one of those cooks that eyeballs all the measurements, so I honestly don't have quantities of each ingredient. but this recipe is so easy that it really is just to taste. I would suggest going a little easy on the dressing because otherwise the oil becomes overpowering.

Fondant Easter Cookies

Lately, it seems that any time I turn on the TV, I can find some variation of a cake decorating show. I have to say, they kind of suck you in. The contest ones are fun (Oh no! The frosting is melting because those cupcakes didn't have time to cool and the buzzer is about to ring!), but I prefer the ones where they just make a super amazing cake. There's still drama (will it fall over on the way to the wedding?) and I don't really want to know how it tastes anyway--I just want to see what it looks like.


My daughter has been a fan of Sculpey clay since she was a preschooler, and if they sold it at Costco we'd buy it by the ton. Through all those cake decorating shows, I discovered fondant--clay that tastes like candy. Elise's personal nirvana!

We found some at Michaels and tinted four good-sized blobs in Easter colors, then let Elise and her friend get to work, decorating egg-shaped sugar cookies to put out for Easter dessert. The fondant made the project way more fun than just using frosting and sprinkles, and also kept the girls busy for hours (spring break time-killer, anyone?).

Elise even created a "Glee" cheerleader. I'm sure Grandma will appreciate that. If you don't already have a favorite sugar cookie recipe, this one was pretty good; it didn't spread much and was tasty to boot.

Here's what you'll need to gather:
Egg-shaped sugar cookies, baked and cooled
Frosting (any buttercream will do)
Fondant, tinted in several different colors and rolled thin (roll it out on a board sprinkled with powdered sugar if it sticks)
Assorted sprinkles

I'll respect your intelligence and stop the instructions here--I'm sure you've done the sugar cookie thing before.

Happy Easter everyone!

What I Just Read: Shopgirl

Steve Martin. What's not to like? He's funny and smart and looks ever so handsome in a tuxedo. I'm way behind the 8-ball here but just discovered his writing. I started with The Pleasure of My Company and then most recently, Shopgirl. I liked them both but Shopgirl was my favorite. I can't quite put my finger on why I love his writing style so much, but there's just a certain sweetness to the way he tells a story. Someone told me that his newest work, An Object of Beauty, is not sweet at all, but that's just another reason to love Steve--he's so diverse! And did I mention how good he looks in a tuxedo?

Rating: Recommended, especially for a vacation read. It's fewer than 200 pages long and easy to pick up, read a few pages, yell at kids for splashing the old man in the pool, and pick up again.